How would you take over the world?

[Howard_Beale]

You're ideas are all very complex... Mine is simple. Plant nukes inside key points of the Moon. Inform the world leaders that if they don't make me their ruler that I'll blow it up. I'm just carrying a bigger stick. ^_^

[rainingonsunday]

I would have everyone wear a uniform {dress code} this would be a grey suit front zipped one peice outfit. I would have all people work by the age of 14 in street cleaning,lawn care,trash collecting etc. There would be no pay. Everyone would be chipped. All entertainment places,fast food place etc. removed. No tv,computer, radios, electronic games etc. allowed. No amusment parks or campgrounds or beaches open. Every one is entitled to one car. This car would be a white small one door vehicle. There would be gps in every car and a weekly inspection on cleaniness
and up keep. There would only be the essentials in the supermarket stores: milk, bread,egg,toilet paper etc. The store would only be stocked up once a month and its first come first served. Doors open at 6 am. for 1 hour then close up. Work hours would be 8am to 2pm. monday thru sunday. There would be armed military guards at the corner end of every street. Curfew would be 5 pm. monday - friday.
On weekends it would be the following times, saturdays 7pm and sundays would be 6pm. If your late your food would rights taken away for 3 months repeated offense would me another 3 months added and so on. There would be a bi-monthly food store opening for everyone where extra food and one item say coffee would be added. Every bi-monthly item would be different from the last one and everyone would have to give up a needed item of his or her choice for the speical item. There would be out houses in your back yards, no bathrooms in the homes and public showers installed at the end of the street. You must sign up to use the shower and do it before the cerfew time is up on that day. The only off time thing to do is read the local newpaper that gets dilvered once a month.

* Have we all suffered enough. Sometimes torture is worse than death, agree.

[lycanox]

LoL, I don't know what will be worse. Shopping, or reading the same newspaper for a month.

Why not just put a big sign on the north pole.

Private property.
No trespassers allowed.

And than start demanding that everybody leaves your territory.

[rainingonsunday]

Hey good Idea. There could be a roping off of certain areas and say no one allowed in your yard
or home those that tresspass would loose their rights to read the one-sided local newpaper and their food rights for 6 months.

[olddragon]

Originally Posted by rainingonsunday

Hey good Idea. There could be a roping off of certain areas and say no one allowed in your yard
or home those that tresspass would loose their rights to read the one-sided local newpaper and their food rights for 6 months.

Just a tad to harsh for me, thanks.

[lurner]

Robots. That's all, Robots.

[goldstargirl87]

wow...that sounds like hell

[Mezurashi]

rather than go for complete destruction I would ...

get to the Moon and build a moonbase for starters. that will be expanded to the size of a small city in order to provide the infrastructure support for the following two ideas;

1 - use mind control beams to take over everyone. some sort of easily propogating radiation that can transmit through vacuum and metals and even through rock and stuff. once you have figured out the 'proper wavelengths' and all that build a huge transmission reflector dish, and I mean huge, like Tycho crater. you wouldn't even need to do much excavation, just use Tycho crater (no need for 'solid sheet' ideas, more like a wire-frame antenna that they use for radio telescopes).

2 - if mind control devices are unavailable (Best Buy is still waiting on this week's shipment, say) then I'd build a series of large, underground linear accelerators (aka Whopping Huge Railguns) and start packing strong steel containers with lunar rock. the computer I'm posting this with is capable of handling the orbital trajectories and such ... so after a few 'ranging' shots it'd be nothing at all to drop a hundred tonne projectile onto a city, or into a harbour, at orbital velocities. if you wanted to get real nasty you could shoot salvo's that are 'time on target' coordinated so that instead of just one at a time you could have dozens of 'targets' hit at the same second.

for ease and less need for clean up I prefer option 1. but option 2 I prefer to simply nuking the hell out of everything, being able to precision slap with ordinance that is 'close to nuclear' without the nasty side effects makes things a little less messy. plus you can save more of the infrastructure on Earth that way, instead of just laying waste to wide tracts of factories you could just send a 'cluster' cannister to encircle the zone with enough mini craters to prevent any sort of land-based transfer - thus weakening their position to further attack. or you could make a single point by dropping a load just outside the 'death zone' radius in the ocean next to the San Diego Naval Shipyards and reminding them that the next one could easily be on top of them -- imagine the waves ...

anyways, just idle Sunday thoughts -- I won't tell you the stuff I think about at work ...

[BornFineThe1stTime]

I wouldn't. I don't think humans are worth the bother.

[olddragon]

Originally Posted by BornFineThe1stTime

I wouldn't. I don't think humans are worth the bother.

Since he has me on ignore, does anyone know why this nut job is even here?
It seems the only post he likes are his own.

[shortround]

Originally Posted by olddragon

Since he has me on ignore, does anyone know why this nut job is even here?
It seems the only post he likes are his own.

LOL...... ever read "The mosquito Coast" where the guy runs off to south America to start a new paradise.

[BornFineThe1stTime]

Well I happen to know where you can get half a million acres in South America for seven million dollars.. but starting "a new paradise" sounds like it would require too many other people involved. I'd leave that for the Jokes of the world.

Wouldn't be much reason to do anything in paradise other than just sit around.. sounds boring.

[Nu Kua]

Originally Posted by olddragon

Grumble, grumble growl. Growl, hrmphhh. Bah humbug.

He's fine!
You are just a grumpy old dragon these days. You need a ride on your boat.

It's clear to me why anyone would feel humans are not worth the bother. Look at the world and what we've done to it! ESPECIALLY the white people! It's a shame, that we've become a cancer to a living being and the enemies of each other.
UNFUCK THE WORLD!!!!

[BornFineThe1stTime]

Originally Posted by Nu Kua

It's clear to me why anyone would feel humans are not worth the bother. Look at the world and what we've done to it! ESPECIALLY the white people! It's a shame, that we've become a cancer to a living being and the enemies of each other.
UNFUCK THE WORLD!!!!

Why should anyone care about us as a species when we don't care about ourselves? Ruling an entire world.. an entire species.. in a manner other than complete despotism would require some amount of caring about the people underneath that ruler. What's the motivation to care when we crap all over our only home, fight with each other constantly over the dumbest of reasons, and generally just waste our time on this gorgeous planet?

I conveniently left out of the original post the part about not wanting to rule everyone because such power invites abuse, and I do not want to face that particular temptation. Time and time again we have shown as a species that we're all too willing to embrace that power. I want to be a better person than that.

I like to say I hate humanity, but my "hate" is about as strong as my "hate" of small yappy dogs. Somewhat distressing and inconveniencing, but I wouldn't exactly kick it.



What can I say? I think I was in a "sound-bite" mood when I posted that first post.

[Nu Kua]

Originally Posted by BornFine

Why should anyone care about us as a species when we don't care about ourselves? Ruling an entire world.. an entire species.. in a manner other than complete despotism would require some amount of caring about the people underneath that ruler. What's the motivation to care when we crap all over our only home, fight with each other constantly over the dumbest of reasons, and generally just waste our time on this gorgeous planet?

Well yes, to put stock and energy into trying to save a species that does not care for itself would clearly be a bad investment at this point, energy-wise, heart-wise and business-wise.

I do not yet think there is no hope... of course what is hope anyway but belief in something that has not occurred? Or am I confusing that with faith?

People are too divided atm to do anything really. I feel the best hope for survival of the species is near extinction of the species. Then those who are left will be forced to band together for survival. My "hope" is that people will then carry on and teach the memory of what we did wrong before, and really strive not to do that again.

I am interested in the other lives "out there" and wonder of the similarities and differences. Curious to know how it is turning out. I wonder, is this rise and fall, (and again) of human societies something that is inevitable? Is there some make-up in our genes that makes us susceptible to the greed that eventually causes such short-sightedness and cruelty? And if so, is it something that we can "weed out"?

[BornFineThe1stTime]

Originally Posted by Nu Kua

Well yes, to put stock and energy into trying to save a species that does not care for itself would clearly be a bad investment at this point, energy-wise, heart-wise and business-wise.

Actually I do put energy, in my own unusual ways, into doing things for the species.. but my mindset lately has been to do what I'm doing for the people who survive the coming ugliness. Presuming, of course, that I survive it as well. Not sure of my odds on that one, if I'm honest.

I do not yet think there is no hope... of course what is hope anyway but belief in something that has not occurred? Or am I confusing that with faith?

As anyone who really knows me can tell you: Like my father, I "carry the weight of the world on my shoulders", so to speak.. and have for some time now. But I reached a point where I realized I had to stop caring so much about the ones who don't care about themselves, or I was going to make myself sick from all the stress of wondering why people do the horrible things they do to themselves and each other. Once we've been "tested by fire", and everyone realizes we need to shape up all our acts or we're in deep trouble, I'll be glad to extend my caring to whoever is left.

People are too divided atm to do anything really. I feel the best hope for survival of the species is near extinction of the species. Then those who are left will be forced to band together for survival. My "hope" is that people will then carry on and teach the memory of what we did wrong before, and really strive not to do that again.

I think we might create our own end-of-the-world scenario because we WANT it to happen. We may allow deranged people to rule us so that they will do the horrible things they do and "clear out the dead wood", not thinking about just how likely we are to get caught in the crossfire. Besides.. when our leaders are evil and do evil things, we don't really have to take responsibility for it, do we? We're all too willing to let someone else do things for us no matter how horrible.. especially when they get all the blame for it.

I am interested in the other lives "out there" and wonder of the similarities and differences. Curious to know how it is turning out. I wonder, is this rise and fall, (and again) of human societies something that is inevitable? Is there some make-up in our genes that makes us susceptible to the greed that eventually causes such short-sightedness and cruelty? And if so, is it something that we can "weed out"?

I honestly don't know if we can get past what ails us. Even now, after all the efforts I've made to better my own attitude, I still find myself flashing back to those animal instincts. If I can't resist them and I'm trying, what about people who don't make any effort?



Having said that, it's probably a good time to end this tangent seeing as we're not actually planning how to take over the world here.. NARF.

[phedrereine]

I'll accept the world, but I have to take care of a few little problems first.

First order of business: Asshole Transportation Chamber. I will create an Asshole Detection System, which will automatically find and identify all of the Assholes on this planet. They will be taken to the Transporter Chamber and beamed to Mars. An Asshole is defined as: anyone who purposely harms other people or the planet. Bye bye.

Second order of business: Mass propaganda. I will gain the support of the realms of art, film and literature to work for my cause. They will be grateful to me because I rid the world of Assholes.

Third order of business: Religiously study Machiavelli's The Prince, as any good despot should.

Fourth order of business: Develop unsurpassed supernatural powers. Destroy the knowledge of how I did so.

Fifth order of business: Live forever.

Well, that should do it for me. Under my reign, there will be no Assholes. I will take good care of those who are left. They will have plenty of Cheez-its and cookie dough ice cream. They will have free health care and free travel opportunities. But all people will live by my rules, which will be simple: I will be worshiped as a Goddess who protects nature and endangered species, smites those who start forest fires, demolishes all Wal-Marts and gives America back to the Native Americans. All nuclear waste will be sent to Mars, because I don't care about Mars. Anyone who becomes an Asshole will be deported there to join their brethren.

In the small but reasonable population left, there will be plenty of food, electricity and general peace for all.

Sidenote: If there are Assholes who are also prove to be scientific/mathematical/medical geniuses, I will have to keep them around. They will be kept as my Court Jesters and will be automatically tasered if they try to leave my future Palace.

I would also like to bring the Greek Pantheon back into being, cause that was a fun religion. I will be a new Goddess whom Zeus serves. I will destroy all guns and machinery capable of killing and bring back bows and arrows, because they were actually cool. Also, I want a bunch of big cats in my Palace.

And that's that.

Oh, yeah, and I will have a good long talk with NASA informing them to stop pansying around. I want an inter-galactic empire.