My own frustration and anger towards God...

[SeeYA]

I can understand your frustration, anger towards GOD. You need to keep in mind a few things:

GOD is NOT a respecter of PERSONS.
GOD’s Plan will unfold the way he wants it too
GOD has elected persons before the foundation of this universe to save for his own
This existence is NOT about US, it’s about GOD
God is the maker of everything known to us and unknown to us.
GOD can perpetrate evil upon mankind and has done it over and over again
GOD will place his wrath upon the unsaved and chastise his Elect
Our PRIDE and sense of SELF importance or self love gets in the way.
GODs law (the entire Bible) is written on the hearts of all mankind: Hence all the religions all over the world. Everyone wants to design the god they want!
When we disobey the Law of GOD we will get smacked up. Depending if you are an Elect person or unsaved makes a difference. Typically, an Elect person gets a real bad beating (even to death) while an unsaved person could be under the wrath of GOD or worse ignored.
If you are an elect person you can expect to: “Be absent from the body is to be present with the LORD. IF you are unsaved when you die, Soul death! Never to exist again! We are energized beings. Energy cannot be destroyed in this existence; it can be changed but NOT destroyed. GOD however, can destroy you. The hell mentioned for the past 2000 years was a tool to control church members. The truth is that the unquenchable fire mentioned in the Bible means never to exist again! (Other scriptures speak to Hell too, just referred to this one because it’s so well known)
This life isn’t important, what is important is if you CRY out to GOD for mercy while here! If you do, and GOD saves you, it doesn’t mean you have a free ride and everything will be great. No, it’s hard at times, always being tested! Mess up and Smack! I’m there, I know.
The Great thing is we are in the end times as written in the Bible all over the place. A great multitude will be saved in these last years. You too can be saved! Cry out to GOD, leave you pride in the nearest gutter, cry out to GOD for mercy! Be obedient and ask GOD for wisdom, ask for understanding!

[DontBeAfraid]

GODs law (the entire Bible)

Which version?

[midnight21]

Originally Posted by Nu Kua

Yeah...
I can feel where Midnight is coming from, but it is the constant sense in several posts she's made like this that she is waiting for God to come along and fix things is what is so frustrating.

For the non-believer it is frustrating due to the belief in a powerful supernatural deity that cares about us enough to intervene, at any rate; and for the believers side I have to wonder (and part remember) if there is not a frustration at, on one hand seeing God as all loving and graceful, and good back up in general, yet on the other hand, being angry with this same God for seemingly abandoning her at this time in life.
From the side of a simple realistic perspective, though, I just know that nothing is received if something isn't put out there.

Looking back in time, I remember finally coming to the conclusion that there was not the expected "back up" to fall back on. There was a level of depression that descended like a dark fog at the realization that we really ARE all alone "out there", in the sense of being under the care of a Great Protector/Provider who has anything to gain at all by being our ever begotten Father. It's a scary feeling to first realize you really are the product of your expectations and nothing else- certainly nothing of some sort of supreme God's designs for your life.

I suppose that personally, the frustration stems from having to go through several dark periods of life similar to that, and having to fight out of them, with no help from anybody, has made me somewhat intolerant of people when they go through those first helpless phases, maybe because they are so painful to remember. I tend to relate better with people who are in another phase of development. It's just a personal fault I'll have to deal with, and I'm sorry for insulting you during a time of questioning your existence, Midnight.

Try not to worry so much. You'll get it all figured out.

Originally Posted by Nu Kua

Well, that is the thing- those dark days are the past for me, and now, I am mostly a happy person. That will most likely be the same story for you.
I agree that a key to finding yourself maybe to break way from your family somewhat.
You're right, you don't have to follow their path. Your task is to cut your own path.
Good luck!
xoxoxox

Yeah i agree with this. My mom's no longer in the picture, but my dad...that's another story. He's been very controlling and it's almost like he wants me to be sheltered and locked away so to speak, even in a bad environment that he thinks is perfect in his own eyes, next to hell with mine. because of his forceful decision for me to live here i had a huge resentment towards him and I've been fighting to break free ever since. For 3 years it felt like I was getting nowhere and he shoved me into therapy with no real results or answers to anything. At least I'm finally cutting through his thick, stubborn skull that I want to make my own decisions and go after what I want. That's why I had such trouble discovering myself- all these restraints made by him. At least he's starting to have a change of heart after months of praying. But it's just going to take time I'm afraid. I think part of his stubborn nature is the drama going on with my little stepsister, who attempted suicide in a high school bathroom back in 0ctober and ended up in an institution up until just recently, then moved back to kentucky with her sisters and mom. Once I get out of this hopefully by next year, I should be fine again and much happier.

Last but not least...even though it was wrong, I actually want to thank you for insulting me. I know it seems strange but it made me break down into tears for the first time ever this year just releasing everything that was building up since january. After a nap it was surprisingly refreshing. All this time I've been holding every emotion inside only getting it out by writing and it's probably quite self destructive. At least now I am much calmer than I was earlier and able to think things through more clearly... I think I've been way overdue for this.

[Zenith]

Originally Posted by midnight21

.... Did any of you go through something similar and feel as if you're stuck and had no sense of direction? How did you find it and how did you know it's the path to take? And how long did it take for you to get out? maybe your experiences may help me as well.

I felt like that back in Yr 10 in high school. I won't say why cuz there was just a lotta shit going no at the time that I don't like to look back on. But yeh, I felt trapped, abandoned and scared. I didn't know what to do and I felt like there wasn't really anyone I could truly turn to about my problems. This was also a time when I was thinking about what I'm gonna do for my future. What career path to choose. I didn't know which one to choose at first so I thought about my hobbies and what I liked to do. I loved computers. I loved working on them, learning about them and exploring them. So, I decided to learn about computers via the Cisco Networking Academy which my high school is a registered academy for. I loved every bit of it and now that I think back on all those hard times, I have no regrets. Everything that happened happened for a reason and it made me who I am today. I'm proud of that. I prayed to God for this but at the same time, I worked hard to get to this point. Midnight, praying to God is a good start but you gotta work hard to get ahead in life. If you're short on money, get a job at MacDonalds or Walmart or whatever. Save up bit by bit and be patient. You'll be well rewarded in the future if you work hard and keep your faith!

[RobertRogers]

the universe likes Action. Take action. Make change. Your efforts will be rewarded - but not instantly.

[JenaS62]

Originally Posted by Freaked out

Yeah it is. I used to love that show - back in the day. Unfortunately, the previews for the new x-files movie don't look very promising. And while I'm on the topic of movies (sorry to stray) a word to the wise - DON'T waste your money on "The Happening" - just awful - it's hard to believe this is the same guy that brought us "The Sixth Sense" which was great.

I saw "The Happening" a few weeks ago and was dissapointed as well. Now on the other hand - last Friday I saw "Wanted" and what a great action movie for those that like action movies. I'd pay to see it again - that's how good it was.

[cmar1965]

Originally Posted by midnight21

You know what? Forget it. Apparently you are far too conceited to even care about others or show one little shred of compassion for others. Maybe your perspective of difficulty is different but everyone has their limits to a certain degree. Obviously you don't know what it's like to live with depression and struggle to remain sane so what gives you the right to judge me? I didn't even ask to be born with this disease! I'm pretty sure others didn't ask to be born with other mood disorders as well. Maybe if you understand and see things from their point of view and actually help them, half the people wouldn't be so upset with you. I really hope someone smacks you upside your head one day for having such an attitude. And for the record, I am in therapy, but it's not helping whatsoever. Another reason I want to move so I can try another one covered by my insurance... But it won't be easy.

Oh Midnight21!

Hon I only found this thread now and I do have to pip in with your comments as to Nu.

I have come to know her relatively well and...she would have to be the one of the least conceited and least self serving people I have EVER come across. I can understand how you personally feel right now as to your own situation, but truly, you lashing out at someone pointing out some world truths is not going to help you one little bit. Sometimes a "HIT" of others realities is what puts our own situations into perspective and as such, it allows us to see that our OWN "lot" is not as bad as we believe it is, despite ALL the shit we have personally gone though.

I can totally understand you questioning your god and your life direction, but if "god" IS part of your belief system, wouldn't "he" be dishng out to you what he already "knows" you can handle?

regardless of taht, when push comes to shove though, we determine our own journey through life, at least in adulthood, which you are considering you said you are 26. Rather than dwell on the things you personally consider negatives in your life, why not work within yourself to make change?

I am not talking about automatically forming a "sunshine-lollipops" attitude here but just a slow transition to recognise the positives OF YOU and who you are, rather than the negatives.

I have no doubt that many people on this forum would be more than happy to help you though this process Midnight21 and sometimes a separated (from RL events)"ear" helps with the process and perspective.

If you choose, I am a shoulder if you want one. That is YOUR choice, but if you ever do, just holler.


PS. I just read your AFTER the original few posts interactions with Nu.. and GOOD!

[lycanox]

The happening reminded me to a parasite that causes suicidal behavior in fishes.
If they used something similar instead of that plant nonsense. I perhaps would have gone through the movie without being annoyed by the so called science in it.

Guess I should have gone to "Snuff the dog in war times" instead.

[Jake99]

Midnite,

Millions of people are unhappy and depressed as a result of the leadership and wicked ways of this world. I am trying to change that so no one needs a psyciatrist ever again. The whole world has gone mad and it gets worse by the day and all the positive reinfourcement in the world will not make anything better. Only the Christ can fix the problems of the world and that is done with a simple operating system that allows for the Meek like yourself to inherit the earth.

Do not be angry with God he is doing everything he can to overthrow the incompetent greedy destructive ways and people of this world through me. Unfortunatly I stand alone against the profitiers, moneychangers, soldiers and salesman who are raping this planet and all that live upon it.

I am trying my best but people want to mock, beat, lock me up and put me on trial as they did to Jesus because they dont really believe in the Messiah and are hypocrites in every way. I hope to someday restore families to health and clean up the planet so no one feels depressed.

[proffett]

Midnight,

I hope today goes better for you. I was thinging about your situation more and more yesterday. Probably because I identified with everything you have said and have a deep empathy for you and a drive to help others in times of despare. At any rate, when the outside seems hopeless and you feel helpless you need to focus on healing yourself, from the insdie out. It sounds rediculous until you try it. Sit alone, light a candle and focus on your spirit. What drives you? What do you crave in life? Where do you want to go? Once you answer these questions honestly you will begin to understand that you also have to deal with your past.

Unlock that pain and let it go. It no longer controls you. It SHAPES you and MOLDS you into the person you are and the person you will become. Understand that those challenges in life are lessons. They are not fair, they are not right, but they were necessary to your lifes plan. Deal with the pain, grieve for your lost innicence and embrace what it has done to your life.

As far as your future goes you are the ultimate creator of what happens your life. Whether you believe in god or not, you control your actions and choices. I urge you to enter each day with love and peace and above all a positive attitude. It will do wonders for you. Look at yourself in the mirror when you awaken. Write an affirmation and recite it every day. When you walk somewhere recite it to yourself, feel it become your lifes motto, pretty soon you will be less anxious, less depressed. Your life will change for the better because you are not helpless, hope is not lost, YOU are in control.

[Nu Kua]

Originally Posted by midnight21

Yeah i agree with this. My mom's no longer in the picture, but my dad...that's another story. He's been very controlling and it's almost like he wants me to be sheltered and locked away so to speak, even in a bad environment that he thinks is perfect in his own eyes, next to hell with mine. because of his forceful decision for me to live here i had a huge resentment towards him and I've been fighting to break free ever since. For 3 years it felt like I was getting nowhere and he shoved me into therapy with no real results or answers to anything. At least I'm finally cutting through his thick, stubborn skull that I want to make my own decisions and go after what I want. That's why I had such trouble discovering myself- all these restraints made by him. At least he's starting to have a change of heart after months of praying. But it's just going to take time I'm afraid. I think part of his stubborn nature is the drama going on with my little stepsister, who attempted suicide in a high school bathroom back in 0ctober and ended up in an institution up until just recently, then moved back to kentucky with her sisters and mom. Once I get out of this hopefully by next year, I should be fine again and much happier.

Last but not least...even though it was wrong, I actually want to thank you for insulting me. I know it seems strange but it made me break down into tears for the first time ever this year just releasing everything that was building up since january. After a nap it was surprisingly refreshing. All this time I've been holding every emotion inside only getting it out by writing and it's probably quite self destructive. At least now I am much calmer than I was earlier and able to think things through more clearly... I think I've been way overdue for this.

It does sound like you have had it very rough and I can really see how difficult it must before you.
Your father sounds really tough and as if he has his own issues to deal with. From the outside looking in, it seems he is being over-protective due to the past histories in your family. Unless I missed soemthing, he probably means well but can't see past his own fears.
One day you WILL be able to get away from his control, and good for you for fighting through like you have now.

And for the crying and releasing tears- it is a good thing to let go sometimes. A good cry comes up deep from the lower belly where we tend to sit troubled emotions.

It sounds as if you are doing the right things, in reaching out to people for one, and that is the hardest thing because you never know when an old bitch like me is going to holler at you for it. :-)
But I, perhaps naively, believe that most people are more good than bad, and most people will help you "see the light" in anyway they can- though sometimes unexpectedly.
And other measures you are taking to free your mind are good, too. If you can't afford the gym membership you and DBA were discussing, find a buddy and make a date for walking everyday.
Hang in there chickcy-chick. One day this will pass, and as troubling as it all has been, it is imperative to making you out to be the person you will grow to be. Seriously. It sucks now, but look at the understanding you are gaining of other people who might be going through dark times, as well. One day you'll be providing an understanding shoulder.

xoxoxoxoxox

ps
this advice from Proffet is sheer beauty:

As far as your future goes you are the ultimate creator of what happens your life. Whether you believe in god or not, you control your actions and choices. I urge you to enter each day with love and peace and above all a positive attitude. It will do wonders for you. Look at yourself in the mirror when you awaken. Write an affirmation and recite it every day. When you walk somewhere recite it to yourself, feel it become your lifes motto, pretty soon you will be less anxious, less depressed. Your life will change for the better because you are not helpless, hope is not lost, YOU are in control.

She's right. "Change your Mind". Those positive affirmations sound cheesy, but they are very helpful.

[midnight21]

Originally Posted by Nu Kua

It does sound like you have had it very rough and I can really see how difficult it must before you.
Your father sounds really tough and as if he has his own issues to deal with. From the outside looking in, it seems he is being over-protective due to the past histories in your family. Unless I missed soemthing, he probably means well but can't see past his own fears.
One day you WILL be able to get away from his control, and good for you for fighting through like you have now.

And for the crying and releasing tears- it is a good thing to let go sometimes. A good cry comes up deep from the lower belly where we tend to sit troubled emotions.

It sounds as if you are doing the right things, in reaching out to people for one, and that is the hardest thing because you never know when an old bitch like me is going to holler at you for it. :-)
But I, perhaps naively, believe that most people are more good than bad, and most people will help you "see the light" in anyway they can- though sometimes unexpectedly.
And other measures you are taking to free your mind are good, too. If you can't afford the gym membership you and DBA were discussing, find a buddy and make a date for walking everyday.
Hang in there chickcy-chick. One day this will pass, and as troubling as it all has been, it is imperative to making you out to be the person you will grow to be. Seriously. It sucks now, but look at the understanding you are gaining of other people who might be going through dark times, as well. One day you'll be providing an understanding shoulder.

xoxoxoxoxox

ps
this advice from Proffet is sheer beauty:


She's right. "Change your Mind". Those positive affirmations sound cheesy, but they are very helpful.

I get the feeling it will happen- breaking free from his control and gain a new life. After a dream I had back in June, it came to my attention that I'm in for some very big changes 3 years from now. Today was the biggest sign- I ran into his ex fiance and she asked me for my phone number and address, which means we may end up being together more often again. The strange thing is, I had this sudden feeling that I was apart of her family again like I originally was going to be, only I may be involved with her son that I've had hints and signs with since the day she remarried. I felt a strong connection with him at the wedding and I reconnected with him again on facebook. He too asked me where exactly I lived. Is it a sign that he might have hidden feelings towards me that he was unable to express when our parents were still dating?

Deep down... I get the feeling that my plans to move to the city where I wanted to go in order to start college may get intercepted and something or someone may get me into somewhere else. It's fine, because I had a dream that I met my 7 year old daughter who said she'll be born 3 years from now (this was what i dreamt about in june) and she looked exactly like lynda's son. it was creepy as hell! (this must be a prophetic type sign because I was certainly right about my aunt and uncle getting a divorce back into 2003 and my aunt actually left him in 2008)

We'll just see how this story unfolds... Today I trust God again knowing he'll work mysterious ways that I can't imagine. It may not be exactly how i want to achieve things, but it will be done more or less. I'm confident these stormy days will pass soon! And you know why? it's because God has been testing me by sending internet stalkers and people who want cyber sex- testing my will against lust before sending the real man.

[goldstargirl87]

You cant wait on something that doesnt exist to fix your problems, or you will be waiting forever. I wish you luck and hope you figure it all out.

[Mystery]

Really stop thinking so much. We tend to waste precious moments figuring stuff out that years from now ends up being not the imprtant to begin with. Just live and live simply, you will find you peace.

[SeeYA]

You have a valid point!

[SeeYA]

Do you really think GOD wonders abot what happens here? This ain't no joke! Its GODS plan, not ours. With our pride and self existence we think we rule, our minds are in control! Bull! GOD spoke this into existence, We are a work of GOD. My, My. my!

[SeeYA]

No kididng? Nah.................. We live to the glory of GOD! He made all this. We can't understand it. We are pee brains searching for a grain of sand on a beach in Bocca raton! All glory belongs to GOD all our useless dreams belong to GOD. We belong to GOD!

[Blu-ray]

Originally Posted by SeeYA

You have a valid point!

Originally Posted by SeeYA

Do you really think GOD wonders abot what happens here? This ain't no joke! Its GODS plan, not ours. With our pride and self existence we think we rule, our minds are in control! Bull! GOD spoke this into existence, We are a work of GOD. My, My. my!

Originally Posted by SeeYA

No kididng? Nah.................. We live to the glory of GOD! He made all this. We can't understand it. We are pee brains searching for a grain of sand on a beach in Bocca raton! All glory belongs to GOD all our useless dreams belong to GOD. We belong to GOD!

Who are you replying to?

There is a quote button on the right side of a posting to quote in your reply so that you can reference who or what comment you are commenting on. If you want to comment to many first select the multi quote button on those comments you want to comment on and then click quote on the last one that you want to comment on.

Just a helpful little tip. Welcome to the boards by the way! :o) I hope you have a good time.

[Traveler]

Been away a while so I missed this but here goes.

Often you will find yourself in impossible situations. But once you have worked out how to overcome them then it becomes easier the next time and eventually the problem is only considered a minor pest when it crops up in the future. That is how you learn to grow.

You are single with no dependents. That in fact makes the problem so much easier. If all the things in your life is what is tying you down then maybe they are a part of the problem. Some of the happiest times was when I had nothing but a back pack.

Look for a mac job with cheep accommodation near by, convert the things you have that are too large to move into cash and get out of there. Those people that are causing you problems, leave them behind and get on with your life with everything new. Make new friends etc. At least that is something to consider. You are in your late 20's. You should have enough experience in life to make a plan to change your situation. You can always get new things later on.

He who dears, wins!

Consider this, can God take you to a better position if you are too scared to let go of the old.

[Ciretose10]

It seems to like your suffering from the same thing that most believers in themselves are going though. I could help but notice all the your goodie works that mentioned. I’m sure if you mentioned them to us, I know you are taking them to God also. This is a very hard lesson to learn but hear it goes. ALL OF YOUR WORKS ARE AS FILTLY RAGS that will never be accepted by God. And as long as you hold on to them you will never see or receive answered prayer. Instead of taking your works to GOD, remind him of what Christ has done. You will then get results. How fast they show up will depend upon your belief. As Christians we believe that as long as what we ask for what is in accordance to God’s will, we receive whatever we ask for. To us God only has one answer to prayer and that YES all the time. And thats based on:

John 14:13 And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son

And Stop looking at you past, press on, get in the word, and expect what God said you could have. It like a closet, your closet seems to be filled with hurt and sorrow. If you don’t get rid of that crap, there is no room to receive what you asked for.

This forum is called ask a believer not ask a non-believer, so why would you get so upset over something they said? In order to get what you asked for, be sure not to fall into offense. That is the test. To no matter what, stay in love.

[Facader]

Originally Posted by midnight21

Oh gee. Aren't we little miss perfect? Before you judge me, look at yourself.

I know damn well what rough is. You never had a mother that abused you while you were young then left you at 14 getting knocked up by a guy that's much older than her. You never know what it's like to see your best friend get murdered by a serial killer when you're in the fourth grade. You never know what it's like to almost lose your stepsister to suicide and have your dad being gay. You never know what it's like to live in poverty at only a little over 6,000.00 a year and try to manage it, especially without having a car. You probably never know what it's like to be raped and taken advantage of by someone who you think that loved you. You never known what it's like to have families split apart betraying one another and have everyone trash talking others. You never know what it's like to have learning disabilities and a lisp, picking on you for it on an every day basis. You never know what it's like going through what could have been cervical cancer, severe depression and anxiety and not able to afford health care. You never know what it's like living with a controlling father that doesn't let you live the life you want either. Again, I know that others have it worse than me, but this is my life i'm talking about and I just simply want to get ahead like any other normal person. Is that just so much to ask? I didn't even ask to be a millionaire or someone famous.

I'm doing everything I can in my power to remain sane and trust god, even though the odds of things improving are like zero to one. Why don't you grow up and stop judging others for a change? Have you noticed that everyone here is getting mad at you for that reason?

God may not answer every prayer, but know that He does care. I know what it's like to question whether He gives a damn about me, it sucks. But, I have found, after much questioning and a great deal of time straying, He is there for me. Waiting with open arms to accept me as I am and care for me. There have been prayers He has not answered, and I'm learning to live with that, He's not Santa Claus, He's God. He knows what's best when we don't. I can only see and inch in front of my face, God sees the whole picture, He knows all. I don't know how to tell you how sorry I am that you are going through, and have been through, such rough times. It's not fair. But God is the ultimate comforter.

[ManuelChavezIII]

Little late i know.

Mightnight21, everyone here is going to tell ya something different, Who cares! some are here for fun, some are here for friends, some are even here because they think its real. Above all else just say screw it. go out and find something, don't let anyone stop you. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. (by all means I know how ya feel.) people don't care about anyone but themselves, every person on this earth is an asshole. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. Someone is always going to think that they are better than you, truth is that they aren't. you have maxium potenial to do anything you want because your a god to. you just need to show it. and for the love of god please don't become Nu Ka. She isn't perfect.