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Jan 17th, 2010, 2:26 PM
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#1
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Custom User Title
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The Province of Experts
Age: 43
Posts: 3,807
My Mood: 
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Haiku - for no reason at all
this came up because a guy I work with asked me about Haiku and stuff. this led to an amusing round of blue-collar types trying to write their own screwed up, unpretentious, coarse and basic Haiku. one of the examples that made me spew coffee out my nose was;
Hey, Motherfucker
Give me back my shit, or else
You will fucking die
the basics of Haiku are syllable based - the pattern is a simple 5-7-5 structure.
so I thought about the kinds of things we could apply to Haiku and was immediately glutted by possibilities.
so I thought, why the hell not make a thread for members to post their own Haiku about anything and everything?
so I'll lead off with;
AO is the shit
We can argue about it
But nothing changes
this thread might just die an early death from lack of interest but what the fuck ... it's better than TV ...
Metal Militia
Boss of our little confab
Be nice to him, eh
__________________
A Monster Screaming Zero
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Jan 17th, 2010, 7:09 PM
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#2
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House of the Rising Sun..
Contributor
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Top of the shit pile.
Age: 35
Posts: 3,496
My Mood: 
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It so chaps my ass...
when the booze is no longer...
someone buy me beer. 
Nice thread Mez.....
It makes my nipples explode....
explode with pleasure...
__________________
Death is a boring dreary affair. I highly discourage it.
"I am now behave and polite..Please don't banned me anymore."Formerly JohnB1
www.jango.com (look me up)
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Jan 17th, 2010, 7:36 PM
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#3
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Queen of the Damned
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Where the wild things are
Age: 27
Posts: 3,462
My Mood: 
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OMFG... Haiku, YES!!
Let's see, where to begin...
My Life:
Brand new white carpet
Graced by a piece of pizza
Stain one, Proffett none
A chill in the air
my blankets pulled up so tight
'til the husband moves
The house is quiet
except for the fucking cats
stampeding around
It wasn’t so bad
Id just prefer some warning
I need a towel now.
Parenting:
Mysterious sounds,
an overflowing toilet,
dinos down the drain
Sick kids are the worst.
Oh god, she puked in my mouth!!
My scream made her laugh.
__________________
"When you gaze long into the Abyss, the Abyss also gazes into you." Friedrich Nietzsche
Last edited by proffett; Jan 17th, 2010 at 7:51 PM.
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Jan 17th, 2010, 8:53 PM
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#4
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Dr. Zaius
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Minkowski space Posts: 49,989
Posts: 8,632
My Mood: 
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worker bees can leave
even drones can fly away
the queen is their slave
__________________
"I was put on trial twice near Y2K for acting like Jesus and claiming to be the Messiah. Its not everyday that a man parks a Chariot of Fire in front of a tomb and stands against the US government with a bow and razor tipped arrows over his shoulder. I wore a suit of armor and was protected by an invisible bubble and my sharp tongue was more than the judicial system could handle."Jake 
"The toilet is more than a throne. It is a sacred chamber."-Anton LaVey, High Priest of Satanism 
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Jan 17th, 2010, 11:27 PM
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#5
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Custom User Title
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The Province of Experts
Age: 43
Posts: 3,807
My Mood:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Demonskates
It so chaps my ass...
when the booze is no longer...
someone buy me beer.
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wow, dude, that is so visually and 'situationally' evocative, I can almost smell the stale hops and old cigarette smoke ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by proffett
Sick kids are the worst.
Oh god, she puked in my mouth!!
My scream made her laugh.
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I wish I could give rep for this ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cartesiantheater
worker bees can leave
even drones can fly away
the queen is their slave
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very much in the tradition of some old Japanese Haiku master - reversal and illumination of the mistaken assumption we hold.
eating dinner tonight I was hit by a weird advertising inspiration;
Welcome To AO
It might seem like a bitchfest
But it's really fun
and ...
Kill me now and fast
There's a new season coming
Goddamn One Tree Hill
edit - oops, forgot one
Manic Depression
A cheap rollercoaster ride
No line ups to boot
__________________
A Monster Screaming Zero
Last edited by Mezurashi; Jan 17th, 2010 at 11:49 PM.
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Jan 18th, 2010, 1:26 PM
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#6
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Custom User Title
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The Province of Experts
Age: 43
Posts: 3,807
My Mood:
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Haiku for the Day;
Mondays suck big time
The rest of the week to go
Please be Friday soon
__________________
A Monster Screaming Zero
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Jan 18th, 2010, 2:04 PM
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#7
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Queen of the Damned
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Where the wild things are
Age: 27
Posts: 3,462
My Mood:
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Haiku for bellydance:
Practice makes perfect
Pop and lock shimmy and shake
My poor muscles ache
Snake arms, pelvic tilts
Balkan Beats move my body
In perfect rhythm
Slow and snake-like moves
My Earthy movements of dance
mimicking nature
And let's not forget posture (it gets beaten into my head so much I made a haiku about it)...
Feet hip width apart
knees soft, pelvis tucked and chest out
Shoulders back, head high
__________________
"When you gaze long into the Abyss, the Abyss also gazes into you." Friedrich Nietzsche
Last edited by proffett; Jan 18th, 2010 at 2:15 PM.
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Jan 18th, 2010, 3:13 PM
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#8
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House of the Rising Sun..
Contributor
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Top of the shit pile.
Age: 35
Posts: 3,496
My Mood:
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Some ass's are quiet.
Mine just makes such loud noises.
What the hell was that?
Digging death dirt now.
Another hole for someone.
I wish it was mine.
I need more sexing.
I need to get laid daily.
Now get on all fours.
Listen butt fucker.
I will not tell you again.
Fly to hell you douche.
God i love haiku. 
__________________
Death is a boring dreary affair. I highly discourage it.
"I am now behave and polite..Please don't banned me anymore."Formerly JohnB1
www.jango.com (look me up)
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Jan 18th, 2010, 4:00 PM
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#9
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Custom User Title
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The Province of Experts
Age: 43
Posts: 3,807
My Mood:
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My crotch is burning
I guess she was a skank 'ho
Penicillin, please
__________________
A Monster Screaming Zero
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Jan 18th, 2010, 4:13 PM
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#10
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House of the Rising Sun..
Contributor
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Top of the shit pile.
Age: 35
Posts: 3,496
My Mood:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mezurashi
My crotch is burning
I guess she was a skank 'ho
Penicillin, please
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LMAO!!!!
__________________
Death is a boring dreary affair. I highly discourage it.
"I am now behave and polite..Please don't banned me anymore."Formerly JohnB1
www.jango.com (look me up)
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Jan 19th, 2010, 4:30 AM
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#11
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House of the Rising Sun..
Contributor
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Top of the shit pile.
Age: 35
Posts: 3,496
My Mood:
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The cold rain and snow.
Nothing is there to stop it .
Thank god for coffee.
Off to work.
__________________
Death is a boring dreary affair. I highly discourage it.
"I am now behave and polite..Please don't banned me anymore."Formerly JohnB1
www.jango.com (look me up)
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Jan 19th, 2010, 10:57 AM
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#12
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Custom User Title
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The Province of Experts
Age: 43
Posts: 3,807
My Mood:
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Haiku for The Day
Tuesday, not so bad
Things could be much worse, really
At least Monday's done
and
Oh my God, it's real
No it's not, it's a big fake
Who's side are you on?
__________________
A Monster Screaming Zero
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Jan 19th, 2010, 11:55 AM
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#13
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Dr. Zaius
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Minkowski space Posts: 49,989
Posts: 8,632
My Mood:
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Truth tables are fun
But Calculus is a bitch
Why does Calc come first?
(For those who didn't know, you learn calculus and trig before you are ever taught about logical relationships where truth tables are used. This makes no sense to me. I would expect the very FUNDAMENTALS of math to be taught first. Maybe I'm in for a big surprise in the next few weeks of this "Introduction to Higher Mathematics" course I'm taking... so far it seems like it should have been taught before even algebra, or at least right after.  )
__________________
"I was put on trial twice near Y2K for acting like Jesus and claiming to be the Messiah. Its not everyday that a man parks a Chariot of Fire in front of a tomb and stands against the US government with a bow and razor tipped arrows over his shoulder. I wore a suit of armor and was protected by an invisible bubble and my sharp tongue was more than the judicial system could handle."Jake
"The toilet is more than a throne. It is a sacred chamber."-Anton LaVey, High Priest of Satanism
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Jan 19th, 2010, 4:03 PM
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#14
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House of the Rising Sun..
Contributor
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Top of the shit pile.
Age: 35
Posts: 3,496
My Mood:
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(on Dating)
Dropkicking scrotums.
Blinding, agonizing pain.
Evil laughter now.
(On weed)
Marijuana love.
Makes my head feel happier.
There is never enough weed.
(On School)
Ass faced teachers teach.
Nothing I would ever use.
Why waste my damn time.
(On people)
People suck really.
They just do,so dont tell me.
What did I just say?
__________________
Death is a boring dreary affair. I highly discourage it.
"I am now behave and polite..Please don't banned me anymore."Formerly JohnB1
www.jango.com (look me up)
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Jan 20th, 2010, 8:54 AM
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#15
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Custom User Title
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The Province of Experts
Age: 43
Posts: 3,807
My Mood:
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Haiku for the day;
Wednesday is tough
How many syllables there?
I say three, for now
and
Spank me, Spank me, please
Make me write bad cheques for you
My dominatrix
__________________
A Monster Screaming Zero
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Jan 20th, 2010, 9:02 AM
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#16
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Queen of the Damned
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Where the wild things are
Age: 27
Posts: 3,462
My Mood:
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It's hump day, oh yes
The only day worth waking
The rest can go die.
__________________
"When you gaze long into the Abyss, the Abyss also gazes into you." Friedrich Nietzsche
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Jan 20th, 2010, 2:41 PM
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#17
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House of the Rising Sun..
Contributor
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Top of the shit pile.
Age: 35
Posts: 3,496
My Mood:
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Feeble ass hat brains...
The board of directorate....
heads firmly up ass...
__________________
Death is a boring dreary affair. I highly discourage it.
"I am now behave and polite..Please don't banned me anymore."Formerly JohnB1
www.jango.com (look me up)
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Jan 20th, 2010, 3:43 PM
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#18
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Leader of the bomb shelter
Seasoned Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Fiery Furnace
Posts: 990
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Scrumptious cheese bagels
They are so very yummy
Not as good as sex
__________________
"There are many trails up the mountain, but in time they all reach the top."
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Jan 20th, 2010, 5:27 PM
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#19
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Queen of the Damned
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Where the wild things are
Age: 27
Posts: 3,462
My Mood:
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My body aches for it
This yearning I can't ignore
I need some chocolate.
__________________
"When you gaze long into the Abyss, the Abyss also gazes into you." Friedrich Nietzsche
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Jan 20th, 2010, 5:44 PM
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#20
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Leader of the bomb shelter
Seasoned Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Fiery Furnace
Posts: 990
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Sated and complete
I sigh with orgasmic bliss
The chocolate is gone
__________________
"There are many trails up the mountain, but in time they all reach the top."
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Jan 20th, 2010, 7:54 PM
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#21
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Custom User Title
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The Province of Experts
Age: 43
Posts: 3,807
My Mood:
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It began with words
Then it moved to screaming
Ahhhh, Heavy Metal
I feel like chicken
But there's stew on the stovetop
I must choose wisely
Olympics suck balls
A waste of time and money
Please fail completely
Can we not get on?
Opinions are just stray thoughts
Let's all get a drink.
__________________
A Monster Screaming Zero
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Jan 21st, 2010, 12:49 AM
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#22
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FlatLiner
Contributor
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: In the moment
Posts: 7,590
My Mood: 
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I like to hear rain
when there's nothing else to hear
It puts me to sleep.
__________________
Bloggers again raised their flabby arms in protest.
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Jan 21st, 2010, 1:14 AM
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#23
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Survivalist!
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Age: 50
Posts: 4,990
My Mood: 
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Here I sit
Broken harted, spent no penny
Only Farted
__________________
But once may one path cross another. By this chance exchange the outcome of the journey forever altered.
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Jan 21st, 2010, 1:18 AM
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#24
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Acolyte
Contributor
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Intricate Dimensionalities
Posts: 1,460
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DontBeAfraid
I like to hear rain
when there's nothing else to hear
It puts me to sleep.
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Rain is my favorite. Very nice...echoes the tao.
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Jan 21st, 2010, 1:27 AM
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#25
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Acolyte
Contributor
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Intricate Dimensionalities
Posts: 1,460
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Sweetness slides into
The light spaces between time
Ethereal sense
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